The Narrator is a Dick: Longer, Harder, and Uncut

You've died 100 times. Honestly I just feel bad at this point.

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Wow... died ten times already huh?

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You've heard all 151 death insults. I hope they didn't damage your self esteem too badly.

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Died for the first time. It won't be your last.

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Unlocked secret character GunGuy from Blaster Shooter GunGuy! as a playable character.

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You beat the entire game without dying a single time.

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Unlocked the Hillbilly as a playable character.

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You beat the game dying less than fifty times.

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You beat the game dying less than ten times.

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You beat the game dying less than one hundred times.

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Unlocked the Octopus as a playable character.

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Unlocked the Old Lady as a playable character.

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Unlocked the secret doge Peter as a playable character.

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Unlocked the Pothead as a playable character.

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Unlocked the Redneck as a playable character.

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Cleared the game in under three hours. Turtle turtle.

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Speed run the game in under an hour. Not bad, but you can do better.

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Speed run the game in under half an hour. Now that's fast, but let's set a record.

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Speed run the game in under a third of an hour. Now that's what I'm talking about!

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You beat the game!

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Unlocked a Tom as a playable character.

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Unlocked the Unicorn as a playable character.

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Unlocked the secret character Aesthetic Man from Aesthetic Melody as a playable character.

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You died 69 times... lol that's... that's the number for... hahaha.

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