I.T Never Ends

Chose to see the full truth

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Chose to forget and restart

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Chose to stay with ARCHIVE-7

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Alex understood the loop

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Alex chose to do it better this time

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Amy left to follow the coordinates

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Amy stayed. And found something

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Sam went down — and found the source

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Sam chose to keep going, because work is just great.

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Sam had been documenting the loop the whole time

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Ascended to rule the rubber duck empire

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The ducks won

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The ducks returned to the stars

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Joined the intergalactic duck fleet

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Merged with Aida - how nice.

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AIDA replaced you entirely

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Destroyed the AI... or did you?

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Helped create new digital life

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Became one with the mold

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The server mold consumed you

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'Fired for destroying sacred docs

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Ascended to become the Digital Saint

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Died saving the company from a digital god

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Buffer overflow in spacetime

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Unified all versions of yourself

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Claimed original identity

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Became whoever signed that timesheet

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HR optimized you out of existence

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Rest well, employee of the month.

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Become one with the coffee

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Became the keeper of all memories

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Share the burden of memory with the coffee machine

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Joined the Fun Committee eternally'

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Learned to embrace fun through remediation

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Fun Committee optimized your attitude

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Left the Fun Council behind

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Joined the printer cult eternally

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Became part of an infinite reply-all

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Let the parking garage entity absorb you

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Befriended the parking garage entity

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Became the legendary helper of future employees

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Befriended the lonely meeting room

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The expense portal owes you now

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The API runs the company now

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Became a packet of data

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Everyone merged into Steve

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Team achieved perfect alignment

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Team transcended linear time

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Merged with the concept of productivity

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Company became a Kanban board

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AI determined you were the problem

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Trapped in an eternal merge conflict

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GUIs were a mistake

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Became part of the infinite loop

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Became lead maintainer of damned software

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Ended the eternal sprint

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Unblocked the Old One in Jira

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Click farm bankrupted the company

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Reality became clicks

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Regulatory scandal exposed

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Everything became computation

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Computation entity took control

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'Data sale lawsuit destroyed the company

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Privacy scandal destroyed your career

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Mining operation bankrupted the company

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Mining security breach destroyed everything

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Became a beautiful equation solving itself

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Found peace in nothingness

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Made contact with those who watch

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Became one with the loop of time

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Merged with the dreaming database

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Became the act of witnessing reality

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Became one with the system

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Became one with nothingness

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The snacks won

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Clicked the link.

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VERA finally manifested in a human frame.

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The door just wouldn't open...

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You found a way out... or did you?

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Became the complaint department itself

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The complaint department consumed you

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Merged with Mr. Whiskers

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Became one with all calculations

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Broke free from Excel, died from the strain

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Whoops, there goes gravity

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Merged with the mold. The mold is your friend.

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Found peace in the infinite loop

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Stayed with the last user forever

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Found completeness in nothingness

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Installed the update that ended everything

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Accepted there is no answer

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Became the keeper of all memory

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Became one with the eternal ticket

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Became one with the simulation code

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Accepted not knowing who you are

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'Found wisdom through memory

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Became all versions of yourself

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United the living and the dead

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The machines showed you a peaceful future

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Became the eternal elevator operator

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Trapped in all realities at once

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The posters left one genuine compliment

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Became the authorized closet navigator

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Permanently locked the infinite closet

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108-dragon-keeper

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Helped the screensaver forget

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Art created a copy to replace you

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Became the Vending Machine Union Rep

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Became the machines' human ambassador

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Swore fealty to the Stapler King

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Became the Stapler King

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Inherited every unresolved ticket in existence

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Completed the oldest offboarding request

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NEW_ACHIEVEMENT_DESC_4_20

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Reclaimed 7,734 lifetimes of unpaid overtime

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Returned one complete day to the erased workers

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Ended the longest unpaid shift in existence

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