Holy Grain

Against all odds, you convinced an animal abuser to stop hitting his dog (by making him beat his soldiers instead).

LockedSteam

You’re a troublemaker in class, and that’s why you got a warning.

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Who wouldn’t love a first-century Goblin Baptistery?

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The battle for the throne has begun. A vagabond versus a cripple—who will win?

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The younger they are, the easier they are to train. It's just good business.

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A forest fairy that speaks Spanish? Now that’s a fantasy.

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Point to where the evil elf touched you on this doll.

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WHAAAAAAAAT???

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Who would’ve thought being an employee of Lil Zatan would be so beneficial?

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Everyone knows 2+2 equals 22.

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Food is sacred, even if it looks disgusting. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

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Gain access to the throne and lead your trained soldiers through the world.

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Seize leadership of the outlaw clans and unite them to conquer new territories.

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Onli the govlinz will allou you to dizkover the zekretz behind elfik magik.

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With the elfic magic in your hands, and its marcial power beneath you, there's only one thing left to do: save the world.

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All that fighting, just to back out at the last moment.

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This relentless old man just won’t shut up about his grand uprising. You’re just trying to grow some damn carrots in peace.

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Every family has an Uncle Paco. Not every family manages to make him quit drinking. Military general by profession, therapist by accident.

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It’s always good to have a spirit in your debt.

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Tolls are only paid with one currency: a good ol' fashioned assault with weapons of mass destruction.

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There’s never enough food. Every free moment is a great time to stuff your face with a turkey.

LockedSteam

The Goddess's cult feels very promising.

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Good manners cost nothing.

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Christmas is for fools who can't handle real life. Santa? Just a decrepit old man clinging to relevance. Time to make way for a new king of winter.

LockedSteam

And don’t you come back. No more, no more, no more, NO MORE.

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It was clear they weren’t gonna be saints, they had to explode somewhere.

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Pork and beef are fine, but you’re here for the exotic cuts of the highest quality.

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Oblatio rite facta est. Potestas ignis renascent et cum studio clamat.

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Daz right, Zokz! Ya worth way more zan dat elfy b*tch!

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Wherever dere be Bootz, Zokz muzt be too!

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Jack seemed such a chill guy... until he stabbed you in the face.

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Once, they were heroes, unbeatable warriors, and fearless leaders. Now? Just ghosts of the past that you’ve proven weak.

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No one loves animals like you do. Humans can rot, but a pup is sacred.

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Santa Claus found his way back to the North Pole, saving Christmas once and for all.

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The corruption (of others) is over; it's time to build a true political project (for personal enrichment).

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The life of a hero is exhausting, it’s better to be mayor.

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Raiding villages is hard work. Someone’s gotta keep the criminals morale high.

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True happiness comes from hoarding enough properties to drive an entire neighborhood into poverty.

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Grandma Carmen finally returns to the place where she belongs.

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That’s what you get for insulting people.

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What color is Santiago’s white horse?

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There's nothing better than a top-tier ibérico ham. Everything else is just noise.

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You’re so broke, a thief gave you money?

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That kidnapped brat had to be useful for something.

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Houses exist to be destroyed—taunting you with their well-maintained doors.

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Even though you and the castle lord hate each other, you’re still the life of the party—and that’s your ticket through the gates.

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Never trust a lone cake. It might come with... explosive flavours.

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Missionary librarians work hard to preserve knowledge, and they deserve a day of celebration.

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